I hate my boobies. Plain and simple.

Now I know I'm commiting a mortal sin somewhere out there by saying this bu I hate my breasts!

Yes.. Yes.. Breasts are wonderful things.. (Or so I have heard from most men in my life.)

But when they are not causing you to lean forward and have you start to look like either a Huntchback or Igor..

Or when you no longer feel sexy as much as I feel like a magnet for any object that needs to knocked off a counter...

Or when they have become so ridicuclously huge, you have to resort to buying all your blouses, shirts, sweaters in XL when the rest of your figure is maybe a large at best.

I swear, if I could, I would hand them out. Donate partial parts to those women of the world that crave them all so much. People like my wife, who are a B cup at best, will truly never know the pain it is to have these monsters attached your chest.

And before you all flood me with the thoughts of reduction surgery, I have done my own research and came up with these points.

1.) I haven't yet had children. So getting the reduction now in my life seems rather pointless.

2.) They can rebuilt them. Make them stronger, beautiful and cost you a arm and leg for the work.

Once they go in and reduce the size down to a G cup down to a C cup (or thats what I was hoping for)most doctors will want to try to fix your breasts up a bit. Because the reality is, if you have been carrying around a good 8 pounds her breasts, gravity is no longer a friend of mine. Instead, it pulls the sheer weight of theme down towards the floor. You are going to have extra skin left over and the doctor will want to fix that.

So insert another set of costs.

3.) From all accounts I have heard, it's extremely PAINFUL!!!

It's less intrusive a operation to add to your cup rather then take away. My friend went through teh surgery, and had her breasts taped up aginst her chest for weeks. That ace bandage made it hard for her to make the slightest moves.

Not to mention the fact, the healing process takes much longer.

Weird New Year's Resolutions

I have a Myspace.

I have a Facebook.

I have a blog.

But most of the time, I find myself either embracing them to the point of insanity or avoiding them like. Avoiding them like an ex that doesn't stop calling or coming over after it is clearly over.

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So with this New Year, comes the resolutions.

Ahh, the resolutions. The only time of the year my obsessive need make lists seems like the status quo as everyone around starts to take stock of all the things they hope for the new year. Things they like to do, buy, aspire to do... Then wait a month before they manage to blow it.

I blew mine in under 2 days.

I tried... I really tried to make a conscientious effort to eat better.

To take charge of my portions. (My Achilles heel) I would make a plate portioned to perfection.

But my cousin made his Texas Egg rolls, and that promptly went out the window.

My brain started to negotiate with my already growling stomach. They were plotting against me. They had been doing such I tried starvation as irrational means of dieting. I manage to haul off with a handful of those bad boys.

Mental note: Starvation isn’t a very good way of dieting, especially when the stomach starts plotting.

So I decided to stick with things with in my means, instead of making ridiculous expectations on myself.